wake up exhausted - tegan and sara

this is a song that, a couple of weeks ago, i used as a sort of therapy. i pretended you were tegan and you were singing this to me. it made me feel better to think that maybe you cared and maybe you really did want me to move on and be okay.

“are you alright? i can stand up straight.” i know, i know, and it hurts but i know.

“can you get me off your mind?” i’m trying.

i listen to this song and i’m reassured. i think maybe you’re hoping i’ll come back into your life soon and be all fixed up and fine because right now i’m just not.

mostly though i think you don’t give a fuck at all about how i feel or what you did to me and that, if anything, it’s just an ego-boost to know someone is this crazy about you …which is when i feel like these lines are accurate “and i find out that you’re angry and you’re sorry you ever met me” because i am angry, and sometimes i do regret having gotten to know you. sometimes. mostly i don’t. i don’t tend to have regrets, especially in this case where there was once a time where you gave me so much. it’s been a long time since then though and the aforementioned lyrics do often apply these days when i find myself really hurting.